My story of overcoming dangerous addiction, devastating depression, and an out-of-control sugar obsession to finally live the life of my dreams.
On paper, I had the perfect life.
In the space of a few short years, I had graduated with honors from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts, married the man of my dreams, moved into a stunning building in New York City, and was pursuing my dream of becoming an actress.
But in reality . . . nothing was perfect.
Every day, I felt worse and worse — unwell, sick and in pain. In desperation, I went to what felt like 300 traditional doctors in search of an answer. But not ONE of them could figure out what was wrong with me.
So I made a decision to get to the bottom of what was going on with me, once and for all.
I remember going to see an herbalist who told me I was SO sick that I was barely living. (In her words: I was “almost dead.”) She pleaded with me to come clean about my drug addiction so that she could help me, but I kept telling her over and over that I’d never taken drugs in my life. (It was the truth.) She honestly believed I was on heroin or crack. It was bizarre.
After a lot of head-scratching, I finally figured out why she thought what she did.
I WAS a druggy—just not in the sense that most people would think.
I’d had severe allergies as a kid, which meant that my entire childhood I was on multiple pills every single day. I took steroids, used inhalers for my asthma, and received allergy shots a few times a WEEK.
The bottom line: I’d been taking drugs my entire life.
Finally, all that toxicity had caught up with me. The herbalist said I was basically “terminally ill”, and guided me through a massive detox. I drank a ton of raw juice, drank Chinese herbal teas, became a vegan, and even ate clay!
Finally, I started to feel better.
Next stop: LA to pursue my acting career.
I was still in my 20s and battling the aftermath of a heart-wrenching divorce which had sent me spiraling into depression.
Somehow, I was also juggling life as an actress, artist, gemologist, massage therapist, shiatsu practitioner, and realtor.
As a recovering drug addict, I refused to take pills of any kind—not even Tylenol. Even though both my doctor and my therapist wanted to put me on anti-depressants to help me get through the pain of my divorce, I just said “no”.
Sugar became my savior.
I literally couldn’t go a day without chocolate.
I found solace in the bottom of pints (and pints . . . and pints) of creamy frozen yogurt. I remember one day driving to Whole Foods in tears and snapping up 6 pints of the stuff.
It was gone in 2 days.
I’d scarf packets of chocolate chips, Twizzlers, Swedish Fish, candy, sorbet—anything and everything I could get my hands on in a bid to mend my broken heart.
I wasn’t putting on weight, so I thought my binges were perfectly normal and acceptable, considering everything I was going through.
It wasn’t until I moved back to New York that it hit me.
Literally.
I couldn’t move. I was exhausted for weeks and months on end. I felt like I was 80 years old and got sick constantly.
I knew that there had to be a better way.
The first step was admitting I had a problem.
The second, seeking help—in all the RIGHT places.
I saw an acupuncturist, massage therapists, integrative doctors and a health coach. I became an IntenSati fitness teacher (high-cardio fitness to spoken-out-loud affirmations).
I studied spiritual consciousness at the Oneness University in India and earned the right to call myself a Holistic Health Coach at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition.
And I went on to become an Integrative Holistic Health + Wellness Coach.
Today, I haven’t had a cold in 6+ years.
My allergies have been at bay for over a DECADE.
My energy is back, full force.
I’m happy—really happy.
I remarried and am so in love with my husband with whom I have a beautiful daughter.
And I get to do what I love for a living—every single day.
Not to mention the fact that I get to make my own schedule and do more of the things I love—like travel the world (think: St. Lucia, The Bahamas, New Orleans, Puerto Rico, Greece, South Carolina, Florida, Hawaii, and Africa).
I love my family. I love my friends. I love my life.
But most importantly, I love myself—truly-madly-deeply.
I accept myself. And I realize that perfection isn’t the goal—it’s never been the goal.
Life is what you make it.
So go out there and LIVE it—in the truest sense of the word.
xo,
Abby
